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01 August 2011 @ 04:03 pm
 I, David Sheridan, being born within and a sometime resident of the West Riding of Yorkshire declare:

That Yorkshire is three Ridings and the City of York, with these Boundaries of 1136 years standing;
That the address of all places in these Ridings is Yorkshire;
That all persons born therein or resident therein and loyal to the Ridings are Yorkshiremen and women;
That any person or corporate body which deliberately ignores or denies the aforementioned shall forfeit all claim to Yorkshire status.

These declarations made this Yorkshire Day 2011.
God Save the Queen!
17 May 2011 @ 04:01 pm
The police just came to my door to ask about a person missing locally. The officer was identified only by a badge which was presented for a second at the start of the conversation, not by uniform or shoulder numbers. The officer was in a suit.

I have known nothing about this missing person, due to not having a telly and reading my news online. The description provided included roughly half the information I would want to have if I were looking for someone: age, height, gender, dress sense. It did not include skin colour or hair colour, however, and the officer needed to ask another officer to provide these. This is not relevant yet, but will later add to my suspicion d'escalier.

The officer asked my name and DOB and occupation; I gave them it and only then asked what they wanted it for.

I asked the officer to elaborate: "We need to keep a record of everyone we've spoken to and what they said."
I thought this fair enough; although I know nothing about the case, keeping negative records is the boring counterpart to keeping exciting positive records. They then asked if I lived alone; I said no, and that I wouldn't be telling them who with as that wasn't my information to give.

At this point, the officer got quite angry, asking "If you'd lost someone, what would you want me to do?"
I asked what my partner's details had to do with this.
The officer said, "It'll make our enquiries more efficient."
I asked how.
The officer said, "There will be more people on this street asking for this information, you know. We'll be sending people round again to talk to the people we missed the first time. You aren't hiding anything from us by doing this."
The officer then said, "Have you been in trouble with the police before, then?"
I said no, I hadn't, but that I disagreed with giving out information that wasn't my own. And that they could CRB check me if they wanted, since it's about a month since I had my last one.
The officer then asked, "Why don't you want to help me find a missing person?"
I said, "Please explain to me how having my partner's details helps you there. You've already said someone will be coming back here to speak to the people in the other flats you've not been able to speak to today. You can ask her details then."

She said "I'm not having this discussion with you now," muttered something under her breath which I would not be willing to testify in court was rude, and walked off.
The way one writes a statement immediately after the incident, I am recording this while it is fresh.

1. How would that information help them with their enquiries?
2. Is withholding information demanded by a police officer about another person an offence?
3. Have I been unreasonable here?

Edited to add:
I have rung the police station; this was a genuine enquiry. Well, as I've always said, if you're given the choice between malice and incompetence, pick incompetence every time.
30 April 2010 @ 02:33 pm

Because they seemed like an interesting series of challenges, those little one-word things, I thought I'd start trying to match the prompts in this excellent post by oxfordgirl. It's an interesting job. Further ideas to go in the comments. A hundred words each; seven so far.


Let me tell you some stories...Collapse )

23 February 2010 @ 09:41 pm
1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your LJ along with these instructions.

5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

6. Tag five people.



"Full caps for the whole sentence, please, Mr. Goodmountain."

The trolls and the dwarfs were staring at William and the lawyer. They understood that a fight was going on, but they couldn't see any blood.

"And when you're ready, Otto?" said William, turning round.


Tagging herecosyouareathenegeniaspring_sidhebouteillebleu and daxx_61.
09 February 2010 @ 07:54 pm
I see this and I wonder: Many of the people reading this journal are amateur actors, frequently roleplaying angsts, sorrows, desperation and whatnot that do not touch actual deep-seated emotional traumas. So I have an idea.

Let us find one of these shows, even if it's not recorded, even if it's just a live theatre thing, if they exist in this country right now. Let us put a few people in the audience. Couples, even. Let us work out briefs beforehand, explicitly false briefs, about dead relatives who aren't dead. We wouldn't be allowed to publish anything about it - it would never be anything more than guerilla fuckery, really, unless someone caught it on a mobile phone or something - but I think it could be pretty fun :D

Who's with me?
07 September 2009 @ 10:01 pm
What happens when I fail?

What then?

Kittens go here.
26 August 2009 @ 03:32 pm
Two-tone, my beloved desktop, is getting steadily less reliable with every passing week. We are now, he and I, playing chicken with my deadline. Will he pack up before or after? WHO CAN SAY?!
Current Mood: CONFIDENT
26 August 2009 @ 02:34 pm
I feel like death.

Post funny things here. I don't care what kind.
This entry brought to you by darkebon, who gave me:

MonkeysCollapse )


CohortsCollapse )


MagicCollapse )


StripesCollapse )


HeroesCollapse )

12 August 2009 @ 11:39 am
Please give me them. Words. Things to talk about. I can't promise they'll be done immediately. But I need to write. Always need to write.